Why Basic Needs Matter More Than Words During a Crisis
When someone is in crisis, our instinct is often to say the right thing. We search for the perfect words. The comforting words. The reassuring words. Words of wisdom. But in moments of acute stress, trauma, or shock, words often land last.
From an emergency responder’s perspective, the first priority in a crisis is not conversation. It’s safety and then stabilization. In crisis counseling as well as disaster and emergency response, there exists an important truth: meeting basic needs matters more than saying the right thing. Safety and stabilization come before conversation.
This principle shows up repeatedly in well-established frameworks like Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Psychological First Aid (PFA), Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), neurocounseling, and “3 Rs” of emotion regulation. While these models come from different fields, they all point to the same conclusion. Before people can think, process, or heal, they need to feel safe, regulated, and supported at a basic human level.
What Happens to the Brain During a Crisis
In a crisis, the brain shifts into survival mode. Blood flow shifts from higher-order thinking toward systems responsible for fight, flight, or freeze. This is why people in crisis may seem confused, repetitive, emotionally reactive, or emotionally numb and shut down.
When the nervous system is overwhelmed, conversation becomes difficult. In this state, logic and advice rarely help. Reassurance and attempts to “make sense” of the situation often miss the mark, not because they’re wrong, but because the brain isn’t ready to receive them. In emergency medicine, we don’t ask someone in shock to analyze their situation. We first help them feel safe. Mental health crisis care follows the same principle.
Psychological First Aid: Stabilize Before You Support
Psychological First Aid (PFA) is an evidence-informed approach used in disasters, emergencies, and acute stress situations (Brymer et al., 2006). Its focus is not therapy. It's safety and stabilization.
PFA prioritizes:
- Physical safety
- Emotional calming
- Practical assistance
- Connection to supports
- Restoring a sense of control
- Clear, simple information
TBRI: Regulation Comes Before Relationship
Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), originally developed for children with complex trauma (Purvis et al., 2013), reinforces a powerful idea that applies to all ages: regulation comes before connection.
TBRI emphasizes addressing physiological needs, such as hunger, thirst, fatigue, pain, and sensory overload, before attempting emotional or relational work. A dysregulated mind and nervous system cannot engage in any meaningful connection.
In real-world crisis situations, this might look like offering water, finding a quiet and safe space, or simply slowing the pace down and reducing stimulation. These small actions send a powerful message of safety to the nervous system more effectively than words alone.
Maslow’s Hierarchy: Why Basics Always Come First
Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is often oversimplified, but its relevance during crisis is profound. Maslow understood that people cannot focus on emotional growth, meaning, or insight when their basic physiological and safety needs are unmet (Maslow, 1943).
Safety, shelter, food, water, and rest form the foundation. Without satisfying basic physiological and safety needs, higher-level needs like emotional processing and problem-solving remain out of reach.
In Texas, where communities regularly face natural disasters, medical emergencies, and sudden loss, this framework becomes especially relevant. The most effective help often starts with the simplest actions.
The 3 Rs: A Simple Way to Remember What Helps
A simple way to remember how humans respond to stress is the “3 Rs” of emotion regulation: regulate the body, then relate, before you reason.
While the 3 Rs are often discussed in child development (Institute of Child Psychology, 2022), they apply just as clearly to adults. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, reasoning cannot happen until the body feels safe.
- Regulate by addressing physical and sensory needs and reducing overwhelm.
- Relate by offering calm presence, listening, and connection.
- Reason only after regulation and relationship are established.
Strategize Your Success
Crisis has a way of revealing gaps in our skills, not because we’ve failed, but because most of us were never taught what actually helps in high-stress moments. We may have been given protocols, policies, and procedures, but applying them in each crisis looks different because contingencies change. Personal growth begins with learning how to respond differently when life becomes overwhelming.
Developing practical tools through counseling, education, and training can build confidence, resilience, and clarity. Learning frameworks like Psychological First Aid (PFA) and Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) equip people to support others and themselves more effectively during difficult times.
Tactical Counseling offers counseling services, mental health training, and educational opportunities designed to help individuals and organizations grow through challenge. Whether you’re seeking personal development, professional skills, or structured learning, growth starts with intentional preparation.
If you’re ready to strengthen your ability to respond, adapt, and lead with purpose, let’s begin. Together, we can Strategize Your Success.
Resources for Further Learning
- Brymer, M., Jacobs, A., Layne, C., Pynoos, R., Ruzek, J., Steinberg, A., Vernberg, E., & Watson, P. (2006). Psychological First Aid: Field Operations Guide (2nd ed.). National Child Traumatic Stress Network and National Center for PTSD. http://www.nctsn.org
- Institute of Child Psychology. (2022). 3 R's: Emotion regulation & the brain. https://instituteofchildpsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/3-Rs-of-Emotion-regulation-the-brain.pdf
- Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0054346
- Purvis, K. B., Cross, D. R., Dansereau, D. F., & Parris, S. R. (2013). Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI): A systemic approach to complex developmental trauma. Child and Youth Services, 34(4), 360–386. https://doi.org/10.1080/0145935X.2013.859906
- Short, M. J. (2024, October 4). Let kids be kids: Why rushing childhood doesn’t help. Blog of Tactical Counseling. https://www.tactical-counseling.com/blog/files/let-kids-be-kids.html
- Psychological First Aid (Online)
- TBRI Online